It’s Okay to Tell Your Daughter She’s Beautiful (It Won’t Stunt Her Emotional Growth)

Us parents stress about every new parenting trend that comes out. We DESPARATELY want to make sure we don’t mess up.

And good grief is that hard. With every expert weighing in on every side of every argument, it’s impossible to know what the right thing is.

In the last few years we’ve heard the advice that we SHOULD NOT tell our girls they are beautiful.

The argument being that it puts too much emphasis on looks and not enough on what is beneath those looks.

I’m not expert, but let me help you put your mind at ease.

Tell your beautiful daughter she is beautiful.


Tell her she is smart

Tell her she is capable

Tell her she is strong.

Tell her she is unique.

And tell her she is going to change the world.


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Tell your daughter there is more to beauty than looks

I’ll admit, I’m sitting her writing this watching my teenager girl flip and primp her hair over and over again on her first zoom meeting of quarantine.

She doesn’t know I’m watching – which let’s be honest, when are we NOT watching them?? It’s fascinating.

But that’s beside the point.

The point is, there needs to be a balance to everything. If she wants to look pretty for a zoom meeting, that’s fine. But she also needs to know there is more to being beautiful than just the way she looks.

Beauty is the way you interact with someone by being kind and standing up for the marginalized. Or perhaps by letting God’s love show through your actions and words.

It could even be as simple as returning the cart at the grocery store or throwing away your trash.

Beauty is MUCH more than just looks.

So it’s okay to tell your daughter (or son even) they’re beautiful. Just make sure they know what beauty is.

Start talking about beauty when they’re young

If you’re raising young kids, you know their little brains are like sponges.

Unfortunately those sponges pick up things they shouldn’t, also…cough cough accidental cuss words cough cough.

If you wait until your child is a teenager, the prime years for talking about internal and external beauty have passed.

That’s not to say they’re gone. If you’ve got a teenager who is struggling, just keep fighting with them. These are hard years and they need you.

But starting young lays a good base for those hard teenage years when you have less control over their influences.

What Is Beautiful – Sprünger and Snyder

If you’re still in the young stage, I highly recommend the book “What Is Beautiful” written by Abbie Sprünger and illustrated by Ashley Lauren Snyder.

I received a copy of this book and was so impressed by the beauty of the illustration and the message.

The premise is around the word beautiful. Essentially, being beautiful means “be you to the fullest.” It heavily emphasizes that you are perfect no matter how you are built on the outside.

One of the things that is most striking about the book is that the words and illustrations are inclusive to a wide range of body types, races, and abilities. You could safely read this book with your child regardless of their ‘outsides’ and find that it helps them understand beauty.

The colorful illustrations are attention-grabbing for young readers but even interesting for older kids. My 10 and 12-year-old both read and enjoyed the book.

Gosh, I’m 35 and even I loved it!

If you’re interested in purchasing, you can find it on Amazon by clicking below.

If you’ve read this far, you’re probably okay with the mention of God and religion. The book does have that theme to some degree. I know some families aren’t okay with this, so full disclosure!

Bringing it all together

Tell your daughter she is beautiful. I mean, tell your son he’s beautiful. Let your children know they are beautiful just the way they are. Warts and all.

Then let them know beauty is more than looks. It’s inside and out. It’s holding the door for someone and loving people regardless of how they look.

If you’re looking for a good illustrated book to help show this, look up What Is Beautiful. It’s definitely worth the $24.99 being asked.

If you’ve also read this book, let me know below what you thought!

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